Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
That accounts for only three of the penises
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
