i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i permit you to call me
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
