I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
