is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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