and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Sext me about skeletons
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize