More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
