She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
