Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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