dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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