Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
