How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
