Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
