I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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