Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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