so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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