Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
