he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
