we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
