I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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