I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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