So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
That was before I lit my hair on fire
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Two words: nipple clamps
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