Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i may or may not be watching the land before time
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
