when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
