whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
