Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize