Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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