she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
