yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
