I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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