3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
