he shaved USA in his pubs
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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