I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize