he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
