He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
how drunk are you?
Several
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
