after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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