he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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