Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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