he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
