i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
