Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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