yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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