I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
