Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
