oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
