talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
