we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
