tell your sister to shave her snatch
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
