That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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