Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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