Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
