8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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