I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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