plz talk dirty to me
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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