You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
