Whod you bang
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
