Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize