At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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