My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
