my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize