Apparently you make a good broom.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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