found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
